Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, Happn, Sexy Bagel, The League, Grinder, etc., the list goes on and on. There’s always a new one nowadays, you probably didn’t even notice Sexy Bagel squeezed in there, it's not real. But if you did, you probably thought, “ooh, I should check that out.” If you live in a city or a somewhat connected area, it’s the new norm. Online dating now as a phase is archaic. Now it’s just called dating.
I remember the initial days of online dating where there were all sorts of stigmas that reeked of desperation and sleezeballness. But those days are long gone. At this point, we’re all staring at our phones 24/7 and we utilize technology all day every day in virtually everything we do. We’re not here to comment on whether it’s a good or bad thing, because, it’s just a thing.
New times, new rules, new norms
Dating, hooking up and making "friends" has never been easier – the barriers to entry have been removed. If you’re single, living in a big city and under the age 27, you’re 87% likely going to find your partner on a dating app. We have zero data to back that up, but c’mon we all know it’s true – probably higher when you account for further technologies. Regardless, dating is a revamped beast from those our forefathers and this new world is constantly changing and has its own set of quirks.
Below we aggregate a common insights championed from bachelors in our home city of New York.
Thoughts? Comments? Got some insight to share? Let’s hear it!
Best Opener Strategy. Start with the profile! Look at all pics, read the profile. You want to stand out in the sea of chats. Your first message should be unique, leverage the content they’ve provided, and be told through your voice. If you want truly genuine connection, be yourself. If you want carnal connection, make it interesting/funny.
Emoji use. They really do tell you a lot about a person. Have fun with it, but be cognizant of how they may be perceived. Taking note of what they use and how they use emojis can give you great insights into someone’s personality.
No small talk. You need to keep the conversation interesting and or playful. Regardless of the intention, you want to establish interest, connection and rapport. In a world of 24/7 swiping, efficiency & effectiveness is key.
You’re chatting, what’s next?
It’s going well, chemistry is obvious and you’ve had a few exchanges? Go for it. Don’t delay. If she’s as great as you think and you’re vibing? You need to make a date. “Switch over to mobile digits at 123-1234 and let’s rendezvous – Thursday 7pm at (Insert your go-to)?”
She’s not answering but you thought it was going well! Don’t give up. Girls get floooooooded on these things. If you get her attention again, after an exchange or two, where you feel that the spark is back, go for the number and suggest a date. Be specific ie “Thursday at 6 at whiskey lounge.” Lead them to make a decision.
Conversation has stagnated? Why did it stagnate? Be honest with yourself. If you still want to pursue it, re-engage and ask out. “Hey it’s been crickets here for a bit, let’s go for a run in the park Saturday around noon?”
Keep on the look out, female insights!
Happy swipin’, y’all!